After reading Thoreau in Sophmore year I meditated, wrote this, and read it to the class.
I began my studies of myself and the world around me lying in my bed listening to music spending time thinking about the vastness of the universe and how much there is that we do not know. But as I continued on this track I recognized that I would never know the answer to those questions and that thousands of people have thought a great deal more about it than I have and have not found the answers that I sought. I recognized within my first few days of study that people always search for boundaries and finite solutions to many questions that cannot be answered by such simple forms of response. It is similar to trying to answer a complex question with a yes or no answer, only the question is so complicated that it cannot even be expressed through the languages that we have created.
This idea holds the majority of people back from the understanding that their capacity for knowledge is only as extensive as the faculties of their society. History has shown this, but in the study of the diversity of cultures of the world through time, our own faculties grow. Even still, a great deal of concepts are unexplainable through our practical but petty forms of communication.
As I began to escape my body in an attempt to abandon conventional language and converse with the world around me in its purest form, I came to appreciate the incongruity of the universe. Disorder is natural and nature is beautiful. I realized that difference is the only reason we exist to this day, however, it is also the only reason people are killed. Hatred and resentment of fellow men as well as creatures merely takes away from their beauty as pieces of this great whole we call existence. Without random chance we would become jaded by the similarity of all things and it would sicken us. I have recognized and embraced how necessary and gorgeous all things in the world are.
During one of my sessions I thought of a place where there was a basic female and a basic male, and all the creatures in this place were identical, all the trees, all the grass, all the humans. I realized that while this place may in theory be static throughout, time and chaos would erode this consistency, the grass would become different heights, the trees would collapse and evolve, and the humans would long for independence and would most likely discover ways to do so. Thus it is the way of existence, a constant pattern of change and disorder.
As my period of reflection comes to a conclusion the chaos within my head, the cloud of confusion and frustration has been lifted and my mind continues to be full of outward and optimistic thoughts on the future and the present. I would like to continue to free my mind from the ruts it has been driven into by society and encourage you to spend at least an hour a week simply relaxing without modern conveniences appreciating what we have been given.
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